Are The BBC Harassing The Dead? RIP Tom Ralis
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Are The BBC Harassing The Dead? RIP Tom Ralis
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I was quite distressed when I listened to this podcast on the BBC. https://www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/m001gj4l
I knew Tom when I lived with him in 2012 when I was investigating the pick-up community in London. At that time I was simultaneously investigating the OM (Orgasmic Meditation Community), the tantra community, and the kink community. My Raw Attraction Magazine originated in 2012 and it is an ode to men and women who are attempting to survive the modern-day dating market.
My investigations about Tom were:
He had an extremely tough childhood with abuse from bullies because of how he looked. I saw old photos of him and he looked like the geekiest person you have seen in your life. He even said himself that he looked like, “the love child of David Cameron and Edwina Currie”. If he was at the school I went to (Farnham Health End School in 1995) he would have been thrown into the trash, punched in the bollocks, and probably bog washed all by 10 am. This would happen every single morning for 5 years.
He didn’t tell me directly but he was probably sexually abused as a child. Most people I meet tell me they were abused as a child.
He was on anti-depressants most of his life. I took an anti-depressant in 2003 and I didn’t sleep for 17 nights and it was hell.
He had no idea how he ever was going to get a woman to like him when he got into his 20s.
He somehow got someone to marry him.
That marriage was obviously a disaster because he hadn’t healed from his childhood and teens. He never spoke badly of his ex-wife.
He tried to find a way out of ‘the dark matrix’ as he called it and being a very social person he found out that he could talk to women during the day very well, this was in his 30s. He looked less like a major geek and dressed well.
He was also intelligent and figured out how to predictably get phone numbers from women during the day with the intention of meeting them and going on a date. He never did that part of the interaction in a sleazy way. It was always polite, perhaps a little bit cheeky but always respectful.
Some of these women would come on dates.
Some of these women he would consensually sleep with.
He then created a business around that because he liked to travel and be social.
In that business, other guys compete and this created a space for all their unhealed childhood traumas to arise. These guys were now the ‘pick-up gurus’. Many would start to boast about their conquests to a point of insanity. It was all too much.
He once told me, “you know Steve, I would much rather be sitting with my dad having a beer than speaking to these women”. His dad died around 2015 and Tom wasn’t the same since that point.
Many people in that industry walked away because they could see the car crash in front of their eyes. Tom didn’t walk away and got stuck in the mire and depression. I didn’t have any contact with him after 2015 so I don’t know how his life changed. People can change a lot in a few years.
It was sad listening to the BBC podcast because it gave:
No warning about suicide
No real reflection of Tom’s life at all. He was a complicated character.
I don’t condone all of Tom’s actions but RIP Tom, I wished that you could have got healing from your childhood and adolescence.
For Helen Lewis and the BBC, maybe you could leave the dead alone and perhaps focus on people who are alive and causing problems on this planet. For example, Bill Gates. Krauser PUA, to his credit, pointed out how bad Bill Gates was a while back. Something the BBC have never done, I don’t think? Perhaps they were too busy getting a round of drinks with the next Jimmy Saville.
The Integrity of The BBC vs The Integrity of ‘The Manosphere’. That would be a wild movie.
I have complained to the BBC and to Helen Lewis and I have had no response. I will update this article with a date and time that they respond.
If you are suicidal, seek help immediately.
Friday 6th Jan. 17:42 CET Update.
The BBC replied to my complaint. There was no apology for the lack of coverage about the problem of male suicide or the lack of research into Tom’s life. They invited me to complain again. So, I complained again to see if they care about suicide this time.
11th Jan 2023 15:19 GMT. The BBC replied to my complaint about their lack of care for the dead and the dead by suicide:
Dear Mr James,
Thanks for contacting us again about episode 6 of The New Gurus, broadcast on Radio 4 and available on BBC Sounds.
The New Gurus is an eight-part series that considers the emergence of charismatic individuals attracting large followings online for their advice that goes against the mainstream including, as part of one episode, the work of Tom Ralis.
We consider that the advice available and the implications of the growth of such unregulated "gurus" is a matter of significant public interest, which justifies the attention given to Mr Ralis within this episode, which also included a number of comments from people who considered his videos beneficial.
Listeners to Radio 4 programmes and podcasts are used to hearing a full range of adult subject matter including, on occasion, references to suicide. It is not considered necessary to provide a specific warning or point the audience to sources of support on each occasion a programme mentions a suicide, particularly when the reference is only brief and without detail. Discussion of suicide among men more generally was not within the editorial scope of this series about online gurus, but has been covered over time by many programmes on Radio 4.
As before, your comments have been shared with senior staff at Radio 4.
Thanks again for getting in touch.
This concludes Stage 1 of our complaints process. That means we can't correspond with you further here. If you remain unhappy, you can now contact the BBC's Executive Complaints Unit (ECU). The ECU is Stage 2 of the BBC's complaints process. You'll need to explain why you think there's a potential breach of standards, or if the issue is significant and should still be investigated. Please do so within 20 working days of this reply.
Full details of how we handle complaints are available at http://www.bbc.co.uk/complaints/handle-complaint/.
How to contact the ECU:
We've provided a unique link for you in this email. This will open up further information about how to submit your complaint. You'll be asked for the case reference number we've provided in this reply. Once you've used the link and submitted your complaint, the link will no longer work.
This is your link to contact the ECU if you wish:
Click Here
Kind regards
BBC Complaints Team
www.bbc.co.uk/complaints
I replied to them again on the 14th of January 2023 and they summarised my complaint:
Dear Stephen James
The ECU will investigate your complaint and aim to reply within 20 working days of receiving it, though some complaints take longer than others to investigate. A target of 35 working days applies to those complaints that require longer or more complex investigation. Here are the details of your Complaint: BBC Journalism is now so poor that it slanders the dead and yet will not investigate Bill Gates.
"We consider that the advice available and the implications of the growth of such unregulated "gurus" is a matter of significant public interest, which justifies the attention given to Mr Ralis within this episode, which also included a number of comments from people who considered his videos beneficial.
Listeners to Radio 4 programmes and podcasts are used to hearing a full range of adult subject matter including, on occasion, references to suicide. It is not considered necessary to provide a specific warning or point the audience to sources of support on each occasion a programme mentions a suicide, particularly when the reference is only brief and without detail. Discussion of suicide among men more generally was not within the editorial scope of this series about online gurus, but has been covered over time by many programmes on Radio 4."
This is your excuse for slandering Tom Ralis (the deceased), who died by suicide?
To do a 30-minute piece of shoddy journalism about the deceased was disrespectful beyond belief.
I knew Tom and wrote more about his life here and about the harassment of the dead by the BBC https://thesteveexperience.substack.com/p/are-the-bbc-and-helen-lewis-harassing
What's next? Are you going to harass those who died of the covid vaccine like many are now doing? Why is Tom's life more important to you than the fools that promoted this deadly vaccine?
Who is the next Jimmy Saville that is leading your journalism team? You have the integrity of Joseph Goebbels and the British people intend to start a war with you.
I suggest you all quit your jobs and hand yourself in to the local police station for your part in the genocide.
Thank you again for contacting us,
BBC Complaints Team
www.bbc.co.uk/complaints
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